Douglas Adams Continuum (DAC)

These two particular changes were, how do I put it, bad.

Waux's version of these two lines were better:

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Still keeping the moon.

oh, and Waux's [i]"Is that what you meant? What I heard was something about lupins and that you have said „certainâ€

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Still keeping the moon.

Well, im not sure what the word certain is suppose to mean but i did read it really quickly. I just went with the addage that the editor is a dumb listener, and if he doesnt understand, the dumb listener wont.
If Dirk is just refering to "certain" as some arbritrary word that he's said twice I dont think this is a natural line that someone would actually say thats all.

Your version of line sounds fine to me though. And if thats your only problem with the script Im delighted we've got something decent

I haven't gotten through the whole thing yet. There are a few more changes I would have made. I could edit it a bit and put it in the inbox later if that's ok?

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Still keeping the moon.

Go for it!

Now i think about the first two points you made i agree with you completely. I have no idea why i changed it, I must've misread it and thought it sounded wrong!

Dirk: Look Professor Watkin, it’s half past one, I’m dizzy with alc… anticipation and I don’t understand a word of your jabber.

Watkin: That is not an unusual phenomenon here at St Cedd’s. What I meant is that you are very good at stealing things.

Those lines are perfectly alright. Sorry waux

Ok, it's getting to the point where we need to come up with a finalised cast and crew of who's doing what, who is who and so on.

1) Script
This is being managed by Waux and James and I believe it is in their very capable hands, with others giving comments, most notably fleppo.

2) Cast

3) Production

I shall put relevant bits of this in other threads.

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See a pin; pick it up; and all that day, you'll have a pin.

Just read the script and it's great!

Two small changes I want to suggest though -- I was reading over the lines for the little girl to see if I could do it, and two of them seemed a bit uncomfortable -- "Girl: Yes, father." -- Can that be just "Yes, daddy" instead? Makes her sound younger when she's introduced, and that's what she says every other time... And the other, "Girl: The cellar’s gone! Where’s it gone?" -- make it "The cellar! Where's it gone?" or "The cellar's gone! Where is it?" The repeated word kinda sounds weird, unless you want the word "gone" REALLY emphasized and have the line shouted out or something. Could work, actually, but it might be a bit too sing-song-y.

Do you think you may have changed the "What I meant is that you are indeed gifted." line because of what the line after it says? "Dirk: Is that what you meant?"

It's kinda repeating a phrase, but I don't think it's a problem.

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Chelsea / Wishkres
The most astonishing adventure in the universe begins
when the world ends.

Nah, i might've changed a grammatical mistake somewhere or something and then thought i had to change it all to make sense but its very likely i misread it. I had to go out and I wanted the script done before I went. I corrected those added scenes in a big rush, so i made myself feel confused

I think Fleppo might come up with some funnier lines in places. Also about your changes to the little girl, you're the one delivering the lines, so you have to deliver a line you can act naturalistically. I definately think he should be known as daddy

Flepp, are you going to have your changes ready tonight? I ask because im giving up with my Uni essay (hey you fancy writing that for me too?) and im going to bed, but your take on the script is worth staying up a bit longer for!

I could also get my gf the (albiet trainee) Editor have a wee look at it...

No. I'm going to bed as well. But I'll give the first scene a go tomorrow in both editing and recording for audition if I have the time.

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Still keeping the moon.

Sounds good, looking forward to actually hearing it come to life.

The other thing was, there were lines in the script that i think more could be done with and i was hoping someone like you, or waux himself or anyone else, could think of a better line. For example, in the scene you seem to be concentrating on, Dirk's last line is out of character for sure...

I take it thats a no on writing my essay?

I'm happy that You're mostly satisfied with the script. The edits and the additions are fine by me. I have fulfilled my function here...

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Sir Humphrey: With Trident we could obliterate the whole of Eastern Europe.
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You can't be a successful dictator and design women's underclothing. - Bertram Wooster, The Code of the Woosters

Erm what about episodes 2 - n? :-P (You did really well btw, the script seems top quality)

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See a pin; pick it up; and all that day, you'll have a pin.

Seems like everyone is taking a day off here!

Waux, you and I can get started on draft 1 of episode 2 while these technical wizards produce episode 1. (By that i mean you write and i'll take a look at the structure and i can edit, post it, let people take it, fiddle with it and produce it... etc... same as before)

Dip, I take it you have no script issues with the scene that you will be producing?

Regarding the dinner scene: when the door opens, I suggest its implied that the few lines between "chairs" and the door opening is where Richard and Reg are walking down the hall to high table. Also, in these Cambridge colleges they have this crazy thing called grace, i.e. A bang, every thing going deathly silent, then some deep voice reading out some random latin, then people start talking again, sit down, and food arrives. If I'm producing the scene, I can sort all of this out, including the latin, but it could be vaguely comic how everything just goes from lots of background dinnery noises to deathly silent as grace is read out, then just starts suddenly all back up again. Resultantly, somebody may want to add in the script before when Reg starts eating the soup, but not too long before, somebody being interrupted by grace...


Richard: One, two, three… eleven? Eleven paper clips in my nose?

<BANG>

Oh grace, I remember this...

<Deathly silence>
... benedicito. Piesum christum, dominum nostrum, amen. (I'll find out what this is very easily (I'm in an Oxford college and a scholar reads it every night in hall, crazy system))

<noise starts again>

Girlish giggle.

Watkin: Good evening, young lady...

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See a pin; pick it up; and all that day, you'll have a pin.

Okay, I have not fulfilled my function completely yet, but that does not matter...
And: when I have more spare time I start to scribble the next ep.

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Sir Humphrey: With Trident we could obliterate the whole of Eastern Europe.
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You can't be a successful dictator and design women's underclothing. - Bertram Wooster, The Code of the Woosters

It looks good, although we're really at the stage that we can start producing once we've confirmed a cast. Are we confirming:

Pirate John - Narrator
ChrisB - Reg
Me - Rich

We should come up with a few cast members on the auditions page and ask if anybody objects to this as we really should start producing.

If the last two are confirmed, I can start recording and producing, although we need to cast the other people in the dinner scene. We really need to confirm the cast on the auditions page.

(Also I'm guessing Fleppo could do dirk and wilkins and produce the first scene, and veet do the electric monk scene. Then we just need to decide on a Susan, either Sophie or Fenchurch, although I'm not sure whether Fenchurch has decided on any way of recording.)

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See a pin; pick it up; and all that day, you'll have a pin.

Hey great! Never heard of this, but no wonder, I'm a Hungarian youngster.

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Sir Humphrey: With Trident we could obliterate the whole of Eastern Europe.
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You can't be a successful dictator and design women's underclothing. - Bertram Wooster, The Code of the Woosters

Since I'm probably producing this scene, I can sort it out and get somebody who reads grace here to read it etc. Also if I am Richard, the only thing that needs changing is something that I say, so the change could all be done my-end if you see what I mean...

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See a pin; pick it up; and all that day, you'll have a pin.

Well unless anyone objects i would just say change the script for your own purposes and use it that way, if you change someones lines you'll be responsible for getting their recording anyway...

I think Fleppo, Veet and yourself should individually take up ultimate responsibilty on all issues (script/casting/recording/mixing) for the production of the scenes you'll be doing - so that there's someone to tell the people what to do and get things rolling...

But we need to define who such people are and come up with a confirmed cast! I feel if I just on my own go onto the cast page and say "this is my proposed cast, anybody object?" there might be people who haven't auditioned yet who say they want to, but then this could always happen forever, there'll always be new people, and we're still on ep 1... Hmm. Disappearing now, back later this evening from 9

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See a pin; pick it up; and all that day, you'll have a pin.

Let's say that people can audition until May 1. Or so.

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Sir Humphrey: With Trident we could obliterate the whole of Eastern Europe.
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You can't be a successful dictator and design women's underclothing. - Bertram Wooster, The Code of the Woosters

So, after having confirmed the cast, mixed the scenes, added effects and so on, who then shall be mixing the mixed scenes? And when should the first episode be finished? And, getting even deeper than is probably proper at this early point, will the finished episodes be broadcast on DAC Radio or published for download on the website?Or both?

Can I then assume that I have been confirmed to do the Monk/Horse scenes?

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Well what if there is no tomorrow? There wasn't one today!

In my opinion, yes. I think you should go for it, infact, not a lot needs to be done to get the finished version from your superb audition! I think this episode could be produced by the end of the weekend....

DAC radio and website both, hopefully

Keep track of your e-mail and expect the scene MP3s by Saturday, then.

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Well what if there is no tomorrow? There wasn't one today!

I tweaked the Dirk/Watkins scene and sent it in. Check the yahoo mail.
Before I test record it, I'd like to know wether or not Watkins should actually be Watkins.
Waux? James?

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Still keeping the moon.

Well, my case is that dirk and gilks have a nice rivalry and Watkins is one of a couple of characters that are suitable to use Douglas Adams' reading of the audiobook (though this might be illegal, but its not for profit or anything...).

If not gilks it could be any professor, is his name even referred to in the dialogue? Only thing that's relevant is that if it is watkins, it should be the same actor as watkins at the dining scene of course.

As I've stated about the place, for need of a decision maker I think flepp should take charge of all aspects of this scene.

Dirk says the name of the professor, yes.
So, should I change that?
Let me know some stuff about this Gilks character. I haven't gotten very far in re-reading the book yet. Unfortunately, I don't get much time for reading.

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Still keeping the moon.

Gilks is a detective that dirk meets later on, and again in the second novel. Dirk is infamous to Gilks ("this case has you written all over it cjelli" from Long Dark Tea Time), i believe he even mentions this school incident in their 'banter' (i think thats a scottish slang word so sorry if you dont know it).

Gilks and Dirk have a great dialogue, witty remarks at each other, a bit like the witty remarks we have in this scene. Whereas Watkins doesnt really strike me as so cuttingly witty (listen to the audtion on the audition thread to see how DNA reads him).

From a casting point of view, gilks would need to be well cast because the scenes later are some of DNA's funniest dialogues.

Id tell you the chapter but im not at home. I think chapter 12 or 13 of Long Dark Tea Time of the Soul has gilks if you have that (dont ask me how i remember...)

By the way, your editing of the scene is better, I'll try not to muck about with dialogue in such a rush in future!

Quite possibly me, although we're not sure yet, but I'd definately be prepared to do it. As a result I guess Pirate John should record his parts if possible and get them to whoevers producing at the top-level (i.e. perhaps me)...

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See a pin; pick it up; and all that day, you'll have a pin.

You have the biggest scene in this episode dip, not sure if that means you should mix in the other scenes or if its too much work for you to do it all...

Can you comment on this watkins/gilks/other proffessor debate to help fleppo decide? If its really too hard to decide then i'd say just make it an unnamed proffessor for the moment.

Quite possibly me, although we're not sure yet, but I'd definately be prepared to do it. As a result I guess Pirate John should record his parts if possible and get them to whoevers producing at the top-level (i.e. perhaps me)...

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See a pin; pick it up; and all that day, you'll have a pin.

I e-mailed to the Dirk Gentley address a cleaned up version of the script that was sent to me. It's put in standard script format so it should be easier for people to find their lines. The thing that confused me, though, was the very beginning where it says "Watkin/Gilks" so I just put that line as "Watkin" instead.

The file is in Word 2000 format.

i should've just spoken to waux and decided with him who it should be before submitting the script.

I thought the group was meant to make creative decisions, but this group decision making process is getting us into deep states of uncertainties...

Well, you see, the thing about that scene is that the version in that script was unfinished, and we still haven't decided if that guy should be Gilks or Watkin or just some random professor. The dialogue in a fixed up version is availible in the inbox of the yahoo mail, under the subject "The Watkin/Dirk scene - Fleppo2's edit".
Wether the guy should be Watkin or not is still unceirtain, though.
It apparently isn't very Watkin-esque, and since Dirk mentions the school's staffroom, the guy should probably be a professor, but on the other hand there are also reasons for the guy to be Gilks.
As you may have noticed, this first scene is not in the book (only mentioned), which is why it has needed so much fiddling to fit in there as an actual pre-title(?) scene.

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Still keeping the moon.

Would people have been happier if I had just made fina decisions with waux about everything and then posted a script. Then only make changes if the something was rubbish?

The reason for the scene by the way, was it was either this or have Reg and Richard discuss what happened over dinner. What actually happens in the book are long segments of narration and the opinion was we'd cut narration to a minimum to suit radio.

This way we get Dirk's story, without too much narration and without more extended dinner scenes. We also get some of the main character in episode one, and i feel it was a good idea of Waux's in the first place to have this pre-credit, setting-the-story scene.

We demand rigidly defined boundaries of doubt and uncertainty!

Im certain waux will weave that line in somewhere

Ok, I know this is a minor issue compared with the actual script, but are we having the announcers lines in with the script?

We cant have most of it untill the cast have been confirmed, but someone has to think of the one liners at the end.