Douglas Adams Continuum (DAC)

Hello all. I used to frequently post in this forum under the elusive username "Emily." Due to circumstances beyond my control which involved a brief stint in a slave labor camp, several exotic pets, considerable ocean travel and an unfortunate encounter with two Interpol agents, I have not been available to post on this here fab forum for some time now. I thought this warranted a re-introduction to say hello to those who have joined in my absence and to offer my apologies and well-wishes for those who may remember me from years gone by. I have missed you. All of you. Except Socrates. He smells funny.

How ya been?

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"Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings."

So many virginity jokes ...

I think what you're really trying to hide is the tragic love affair you were having with that interstellar guppy. God damn you, I won't forget his tweets!

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Shoes. - Doctor #3

How dare you bring that up when you know I'm still nursing the heartbreak.

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"Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings."

Now you're nursing Heartbreak!?! That's got to be awkward.

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Shoes. - Doctor #3

I think "kinky" is a more appropriate description.

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"Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings."

Truly, it is good to have you back. Getting hit on by Ken every 10 minutes was starting to get old.

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Shoes. - Doctor #3

I don't understand why you still resist. I always thought you two would make a lovely couple.

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"Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings."

Alright, screw both of you then.

To think, the hundreds of poems I PM'd the two of you just wasted.

Y'know how hard it is to find a rhyme for "urolagnia"?

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Steal Compass. Drive North. Disappear.

twitter: @kensocrates

Those were poems? All this time I thought you managed to convert your poop into pixels transmittable over the internet. I was actually impressed. Not anymore.

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"Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings."

You know I prefer sending my poop via UPS. Something about the brown, I guess.

Although, and it may have taken me 18 months to sort it out, I finally realized that
was a fake address you gave me.

I wonder if that Burrito place in Oxnard ever got tired of it's weekly delivery?

_________________
Steal Compass. Drive North. Disappear.

twitter: @kensocrates

They probably found a way to put it to profitable use. Throw in some beans and douse it with enough salsa and sour cream and it wouldn't taste much different than your average serving at Taco Bell.

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"Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings."

Good because that's what most of it was.

Perfect example of the kind of recycling that's going to save this planet someday. Or doing
your doody for the Earth.

_________________
Steal Compass. Drive North. Disappear.

twitter: @kensocrates

Heartache, don't talk to me about heartache.

Who of you frakheads nicked my nitro? It doesn't explode anyway.

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A little sincerity is a dangerous thing, and a great deal of it is absolutely fatal. - Oscar Wilde (1854 - 1900)
[img]http://www.millan.net/minimations/smileys/kittifer.gif[/img]

Ken stole it. He likes to rub it on his private parts. Or at least what used to be private before that video of him with those sheep went viral on the internet.

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"Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings."

That's the last time I let Socrates talk me into going to a costume party.

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Shoes. - Doctor #3

But you'll still keep your bi-annual cross-dressing trips to Atlantic City, right? I'd be disappointed if you guys quit those.

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"Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings."

Awww... You win again, Establishment. But next time!

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Every normal man must be tempted at times to spit on his hands, hoist the black flag, and begin to slit throats.

-H.L. Mencken


[url]http://www.madmanoz.blogspot.com[/url]

We're going to Reno now.

Which you would know if you hadn't wandered off into the dessert high on peyote.

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Shoes. - Doctor #3

I think I meant "desert," but I'm not so sure now.

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Shoes. - Doctor #3

That was a religious ritual required of my people on an annual basis and you know it. Some of us answer to powers higher than porn, you know.

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"Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings."

Freudian slip, I think, we know all about the jello wrestling fantasies.

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D.
The Thirteenth Triskaidekaphobe
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Well, I'm not the one who keeps getting e-mails about doing Playboy photo shoots.



Hmm. Whipped cream.

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Shoes. - Doctor #3

And I'm sure Playboy's readers are grateful for that.

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"Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings."

Emily!
!YaY!

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(... don't piss us off)

They'll never know what they're missing, though. Who needs giant jugs when you've got a
thick, dark beard, a sheep costume and a fuckload of peyote.





Jesus, I think that's the title of my next autobiography right there.

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Steal Compass. Drive North. Disappear.

twitter: @kensocrates

Well, you know my motto: Steal peyote. Wear costume. Beard.

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Shoes. - Doctor #3

You can get them in 3D now - scary or what?

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D.
The Thirteenth Triskaidekaphobe
--------------------------------------

The Playboy readers? THAT'S scary!

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A little sincerity is a dangerous thing, and a great deal of it is absolutely fatal. - Oscar Wilde (1854 - 1900)
[img]http://www.millan.net/minimations/smileys/kittifer.gif[/img]

3 dimensional Playboy readers? That is silly. Those only come in 2 dimensions, and they all only read Playboy "for the articles".

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Every normal man must be tempted at times to spit on his hands, hoist the black flag, and begin to slit throats.

-H.L. Mencken


[url]http://www.madmanoz.blogspot.com[/url]

Hi Emily! I've been unactive and then reactive for a bit now too. Don't know if that's quite how virginity works, but blimey it's a good theory! Many happy returns!

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"Sir, please restrain your grandmother or I'll be forced to dump expensive champagne on her head and charge you for it."

"You're the rudest waiter I've EVER MET!"

"Thank you! Would you putting that in writing? I'm trying to win the Maitre D Society's Annual Prize."

http://www.donteatanybugs.com

I've never understood men who use the "only for the articles" defense and think it will fly. Seriously? They skip the boobs? Must be gay.

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"Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings."

And many happy returns to thee.

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"Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings."

Glad to have you back, Emily!

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Human beings, who are almost unique in having the ability to learn from the experience of others, are also remarkable for their apparent disinclination to do so.
(Douglas Adams, "Last Chance to See")

To restore forum virginity, just say "Hi Men"

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D.
The Thirteenth Triskaidekaphobe
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I envy you Gusty. You knew Em before she was a virgin.

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The drug purportedly affected an area of the brain called "Shatner's Bassoon"

I used to think that the brain was the most wonderful organ in my body. Then I realized who was telling me this.
http://s267.photobucket.com/albums/ii297/h2g230/