Douglas Adams Continuum (DAC)

(At work)
Bill: Hey, 'saright?
Me: 'Saright. You quoting Senor Wences?
Bill: No. I don't know who that is. I'm not Puerto Rican.
Me: (*blink, blink*) He's from SPAIN, but whatever.


(On the internet)
"You mean Paul McCartney was in a band before Wings?"

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Zombies make bad gifts.

Why would he assume that Señor Wences would be specifically Puerto Rican? And the other guy I am forced to assume is a troll. No other explanation.

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Every normal man must be tempted at times to spit on his hands, hoist the black flag, and begin to slit throats.

-H.L. Mencken


[url]http://www.madmanoz.blogspot.com[/url]

or he was being ironic.

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"The human gene pool needs more lifeguards!
Either that or stronger chlorination...." (Pitbull)

No, he was being an ignorant prick.

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Zombies make bad gifts.

Um, so who's Senor Wences?

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The drug purportedly affected an area of the brain called "Shatner's Bassoon"

I used to think that the brain was the most wonderful organ in my body. Then I realized who was telling me this.
http://s267.photobucket.com/albums/ii297/h2g230/

i don´t know either. too lazy to google. something the cool kids know these days, i´d wager.

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"The human gene pool needs more lifeguards!
Either that or stronger chlorination...." (Pitbull)

s'awriiiight ...

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(... don't piss us off)

Stupidest thing I've ever heard:
A guy who worked for my dad was staring intently at a can.
Dad: Whatcha doing?
Guy: Just reading the ingredients. It's even got fish in it!
Dad: What is it?
Guy: Tuna.

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The truth ain't like puppies. A bunch of 'em running around, you pick your favorite.

There's nothing funny about a plastic vagina.

The Epic Project. It happened. Way too late.

Joe: Wow. I can't even comprehend.


Also, Senor Wences: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5AaIDmiFXmo

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Zombies make bad gifts.

My mother is pretty smart, I am not gonna claim anything else. She graduated top of her class, when she became a pedagog, a few years back. Now, here is the thing: My mothers side of the family, me and my sisters included, seems to have a few, shall we say, blindspots. Something comes at us from the wrong angle, we turn into complete idiots. My sisters calls it their "blonde moments".

Now, here is the conversation I had with my mother her a few hours ago.

Mother: "There is an insect on the inside of the computer screen. How did did it get there?" She was trying to swat it away.
Me: "Mother, that is a picture".



Possibly the kicker: the gif was posted on facebook with the title "this fly piss me off"

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Every normal man must be tempted at times to spit on his hands, hoist the black flag, and begin to slit throats.

-H.L. Mencken


[url]http://www.madmanoz.blogspot.com[/url]

There's a fly inside my laptop screen!

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Human beings, who are almost unique in having the ability to learn from the experience of others, are also remarkable for their apparent disinclination to do so.
(Douglas Adams, "Last Chance to See")

*swat*

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"The human gene pool needs more lifeguards!
Either that or stronger chlorination...." (Pitbull)

Guys. How do I get this squished bug off of my laptop screen?

_________________
The truth ain't like puppies. A bunch of 'em running around, you pick your favorite.

There's nothing funny about a plastic vagina.

The Epic Project. It happened. Way too late.