Douglas Adams Continuum (DAC)

His name is Josh. Not my cousin, though. Well, he may be. Everyone on this freaking mountain is related, I tells ya. Makes it very hard to date.

And I've read your message and responded. I hope things are cool, now.

Folks, I'll just tell ya... it all stems from penis envy. Mainly from my end. Why do I have to be so small?! I mean, I have big feet...

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The truth ain't like puppies. A bunch of 'em running around, you pick your favorite.

There's nothing funny about a plastic vagina.

The Epic Project. It happened. Way too late.

Sorry Josh!! I didn't mean to offend you by placing you in the same family tree as this genetic freak!!!

And Joe, the feet are nature's way of saying sorry for the lacking size elsewhere.

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So long...etc.

And now you're insulting my brain. Where will it ever stop?

Just so everyone knows, we're joking.


I have a HUGE penis.

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The truth ain't like puppies. A bunch of 'em running around, you pick your favorite.

There's nothing funny about a plastic vagina.

The Epic Project. It happened. Way too late.

The key word in the above post is that he's joking. It applies the most to that last part.

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So long...etc.

Right. The Epic Project is NEVER coming.

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The truth ain't like puppies. A bunch of 'em running around, you pick your favorite.

There's nothing funny about a plastic vagina.

The Epic Project. It happened. Way too late.

God Joe, you shouldn't be such a pessimist. With that kind of attitude you'll never get anything finished.

So, is it called the Epic Project in an attempt to compensate for your tiny penis?

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So long...etc.

I'm so pessimistic, when asked if the glass is half-full or half-empty, I just complain that it's a dirty glass.

And totally.

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The truth ain't like puppies. A bunch of 'em running around, you pick your favorite.

There's nothing funny about a plastic vagina.

The Epic Project. It happened. Way too late.

First of all, I need to know where you got access to all of these Arrested Development .gifs and images.

Second of all, if the Epic Project doesn't ever come to fruition, I will destroy the DAC.

Third of all, anything after second of all doesn't sound quite right.

Fourth of all, see what I mean?!

Fifth of all, oh, that's better.

Sixth of all, Serenity, you cool now? I'm just making sure. That whole thing was bad vibes and out of character-ish (unless you've been hiding your true self from us all this time, and you're actually a cave dwelling cephalapod that feeds exclusively on bison and sound waves, reproduces through a combination of budding and fissure, and wears bondage made out of kitten tears...)

Seventh of all, what does the previous point reveal about Puff?

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Personally, I believe joblessness is one of the core prerequisites for creativity. - OZ

I think we're cool now, actually I think we're on better terms now than before my outburst. I explained everything to Joe last night and while I'll let him speak for himself, I think we're peachy. Although I was hoping that no one would notice my true cephalapod form...

And umm, it takes one to know one???

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So long...etc.

It's ok now, Puff. Me and Mike made sweet, sweet love and everything's fine.

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The truth ain't like puppies. A bunch of 'em running around, you pick your favorite.

There's nothing funny about a plastic vagina.

The Epic Project. It happened. Way too late.

Yes, Joe asked for the Sledge Hammer and well, yeah.

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So long...etc.

And boy, am I sore.

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The truth ain't like puppies. A bunch of 'em running around, you pick your favorite.

There's nothing funny about a plastic vagina.

The Epic Project. It happened. Way too late.

I got mine here.

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The truth ain't like puppies. A bunch of 'em running around, you pick your favorite.

There's nothing funny about a plastic vagina.

The Epic Project. It happened. Way too late.

It looks like a shaved ferret on steroids....
Seriously...

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Just Think Of My Lips As The Fruit Roll-Ups Of Love.

"The Epic Project" is probably the best name for someone's penis that I've ever heard.

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Human beings, who are almost unique in having the ability to learn from the experience of others, are also remarkable for their apparent disinclination to do so.
(Douglas Adams, "Last Chance to See")

I came up with the name

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Just Think Of My Lips As The Fruit Roll-Ups Of Love.

So what is exactly up with the Epic Project? (No, not the penis.)

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Sir Humphrey: With Trident we could obliterate the whole of Eastern Europe.
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You can't be a successful dictator and design women's underclothing. - Bertram Wooster, The Code of the Woosters

Well, I've been in a hospital for a month, so it has slowed down considerably. It'll pick back up soonish.

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The truth ain't like puppies. A bunch of 'em running around, you pick your favorite.

There's nothing funny about a plastic vagina.

The Epic Project. It happened. Way too late.

I want YOU for Christmas!

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Before long now, I'll reach the age where farting will be an essential part of propulsion.
(...don't piss us off)

It.

Has.

Arrived.

Part 1: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EbrI4tFFxl4
Part 2: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z_dnxbCQQi0

(I didn't get as far as I wanted, but here you go. Also, everyone's avatars have changed, so... try to remember the old days.)

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The truth ain't like puppies. A bunch of 'em running around, you pick your favorite.

There's nothing funny about a plastic vagina.

The Epic Project. It happened. Way too late.

I'm very impressed!

When can we expect the sequel, 2018 or thereabouts?

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You know what you are? You're a beard with an idiot hanging off it.

Very nice.


Damn...I don't exist even in the Matrix. Poor me.

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It's terrible, but I guess songs are just interesting things to do with the air.
-Tom Waits

Fookin' genius, that is. Fookin' genius.

I mean, I'm going to have nightmares, mind you. But what else is new?




Just imagine how good it would have been if you worked on it for 10 years.

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Steal Compass. Drive North. Disappear.

twitter: @kensocrates

I think one of your old avatars is in there somewhere. I'm fairly certain you're in there.

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The truth ain't like puppies. A bunch of 'em running around, you pick your favorite.

There's nothing funny about a plastic vagina.

The Epic Project. It happened. Way too late.

Yeah, but it's your turn.

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The truth ain't like puppies. A bunch of 'em running around, you pick your favorite.

There's nothing funny about a plastic vagina.

The Epic Project. It happened. Way too late.

Since Ken never did anything else, I'm declaring this a win.

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The truth ain't like puppies. A bunch of 'em running around, you pick your favorite.

There's nothing funny about a plastic vagina.

The Epic Project. It happened. Way too late.