Douglas Adams Continuum (DAC)

If anybody would like to place advertisements for any small one-line parts they need for their scenes here. It seemed like there were a few people interested in doing small cameos and a few cameos going (e.g. newsreader, professors at the dinner, the constable perhaps, etc) that even those with Scottish accents could audition for.

We need a news reporter reporting the following:
"...was terribly warm and sunny. As for England it was the usual dim day with the usual thin layer of fog around your ankles. Now our correspondent from The Vatican, Günter Glick..."

For the dinner scene: we still need a watkin if anybody's interested, otherwise we could use DNA's voice but that would be a copyright issue, see previous hordes of conversation. Does anybody want to do Watkin? As well as general murmurs of agreement ("Well, yes, I would say so... murmur murmur murmur"), we also need random professors saying random things such as: "Well yes, it's a very nice pot, pristine condition I would say" "I think it's very old, because I am very old and I don't want the pot to feel left out" "You tell me?" "The old fool..."

Also, of course we need to cast Gordon soon as he's a major character and featuers heavily in the next episode. What does unno think about this? He seems somebody reasonably active in the project and seems to have a versatile voice, and so far hasn't had a main part...

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See a pin; pick it up; and all that day, you'll have a pin.

He's Gilks, which is a bigger part than Gordon depending on how Gordon will be written once he's dead. Though i have nothing against anyone doing multiple roles. If someone could do it well i wouldnt care if someone had played all the roles, one man show style!

Well I'm Scottish but I can do lots of accents, so if you need something I will gladly audition.

Hey im scottish too! Where in Scotland?

Close to the edge, down by the corner

_________________
The truth ain't like puppies. A bunch of 'em running around, you pick your favorite.

There's nothing funny about a plastic vagina.

The Epic Project. It happened. Way too late.

From Bearsden originally, down by the corner.

If you want to try some of the kind of things mentioned above and send them to dirk_gently_radio@yahoo.co.uk, that would be most excellent (also goes for any other persons)

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See a pin; pick it up; and all that day, you'll have a pin.

I auditioned for the Newscaster once.

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Sir Humphrey: With Trident we could obliterate the whole of Eastern Europe.
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You can't be a successful dictator and design women's underclothing. - Bertram Wooster, The Code of the Woosters

You did? Where is it?

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See a pin; pick it up; and all that day, you'll have a pin.

Here it is!

Waux as the Newscaster!

WAIT! It has expired. I shall upload it, in a minute.

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Sir Humphrey: With Trident we could obliterate the whole of Eastern Europe.
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You can't be a successful dictator and design women's underclothing. - Bertram Wooster, The Code of the Woosters

I've just realised that Unno submitted a Watkin audition which I think sounds quite good, and sufficiently different to Cawley. What are thoughts on Unno doing Watkin? If the consensus is yes, could he record his parts?

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See a pin; pick it up; and all that day, you'll have a pin.

Here it is!

Waux as the Newscaster.

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Sir Humphrey: With Trident we could obliterate the whole of Eastern Europe.
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You can't be a successful dictator and design women's underclothing. - Bertram Wooster, The Code of the Woosters

Ah excellent :-) It sounds really good, apart from the issue that in the UK most (all?) news reporters seem to have a Brittish accent... but if we ignore this, could be good :-)

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See a pin; pick it up; and all that day, you'll have a pin.

hmmm... my accent wasn't approved of so I couldn't be narrator or Gilks... it's because I'm black, isn't it? (I'm not REALLY black, but still...) oh well. Just don't remove me from the waiter-part, yeah?

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Batman: Nobody wants war.

Robin: Gee, Batman. Belgravia's such a small country. We'd beat them in a few hours.

Batman: Yes, and then we'd have to support them for years.

Well I kind of gathered that it was reasonably confirmed that Pirate John would be the Narrator and Unno would be Gilks... hence suggesting the other parts e.g. Gordon (and if you listen to my first veryvery rough mix of the dinner scene, you'll see you indeed star as the Waiter)

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See a pin; pick it up; and all that day, you'll have a pin.

haha yes I know. never mind me, I'm just here for show

actually, at that time they hadn't been confirmed as such. but I do realise that the role of newscaster is rather like a pea in size compared to, say, the narrator or indeed gilks! which enables the newscaster get away with, in this case, not having a british accent. so no hard feelings.

(unless you remove me from the waiter-part. then I will be furious. so will the mice! )

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Batman: Nobody wants war.

Robin: Gee, Batman. Belgravia's such a small country. We'd beat them in a few hours.

Batman: Yes, and then we'd have to support them for years.

Choccster, your accent doesn't make you unappropriate for a bigger part. You're voice seems really good. It's just I thought Gilks and the Narrator were kind of taken... it may work well for Gordon or Watkin or whoever though, there are many non-Britishaccents being played. Also Michael Wenton Weaks is still to be cast...

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See a pin; pick it up; and all that day, you'll have a pin.

don't worry about it, sir! it's nice to see (or hear?) that my voice is appreciated! I have another exam to worry about anyway but there will be more chances !

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Batman: Nobody wants war.

Robin: Gee, Batman. Belgravia's such a small country. We'd beat them in a few hours.

Batman: Yes, and then we'd have to support them for years.

I can't really do a British accent. Sorry, guys.

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Sir Humphrey: With Trident we could obliterate the whole of Eastern Europe.
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You can't be a successful dictator and design women's underclothing. - Bertram Wooster, The Code of the Woosters

well they said it didn't matter for that part. so don't worry about it, waux!!

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Batman: Nobody wants war.

Robin: Gee, Batman. Belgravia's such a small country. We'd beat them in a few hours.

Batman: Yes, and then we'd have to support them for years.

Thank You, Choccie boy. It's always good to have a Choccie boy around.


Sorryeveryone.

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Sir Humphrey: With Trident we could obliterate the whole of Eastern Europe.
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You can't be a successful dictator and design women's underclothing. - Bertram Wooster, The Code of the Woosters

haha. no worries. you owe me £1million. er...

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Batman: Nobody wants war.

Robin: Gee, Batman. Belgravia's such a small country. We'd beat them in a few hours.

Batman: Yes, and then we'd have to support them for years.

It's my analyst, mum.

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Sir Humphrey: With Trident we could obliterate the whole of Eastern Europe.
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You can't be a successful dictator and design women's underclothing. - Bertram Wooster, The Code of the Woosters

So I'm not the only one who liked that reading. :) It was my favorite of the parts I read, and noone else seemed to like it. I have no desire to do the part unless we get a consensus that I would be good in it. If so, I'll gladly record the part.

In addition, I could do a reading for Gordon, but it will have to wait for awhile. My voice is in pretty bad shape right now (Star Wars fans should understand why,) and I'm getting my wisdom teeth removed tomorrow, which will put any voice-acting off for at least a week.

BTW, one note on Gordon (to whomever else wants to audition,) personally, I think it's really important for him to be English. With some of the other characters, it's not as important. But Gordon has the biggest monologue in the whole book, and it's all in an English rhythm.

Everyone out there who wants to play something, PLEASE send in your auditions. We need more people. Most pressing right now are the need for more professors (particularly the one who needs to take three of Cawley's lines.)

Unno

Well you have my Watkin vote.

Which Cawley lines do we need moving to another character? The one about a prefrontal lobotomy? Also if we just have people doing generally professory things such as the ones above just for general background, that could be groovy

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See a pin; pick it up; and all that day, you'll have a pin.

Like I say, if needed (otherwise, I'd rather just do the announcer) I could do a very small part, like a one liner at the dinner scene. I cant really do any good accent, but I am british.

If You are British, You don't really have to do accents...

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Sir Humphrey: With Trident we could obliterate the whole of Eastern Europe.
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You can't be a successful dictator and design women's underclothing. - Bertram Wooster, The Code of the Woosters

Kai, I officially declare that you should read the pre-frontal lobotomy line, as well as a few "ooh its an interesting pot" type things mentioned above

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See a pin; pick it up; and all that day, you'll have a pin.

Yes, skutterz. But it should be more like "Oh, what a dull pot." or "I rarely have the opportunity to set my eyes on something that is of this much uninterestingness."
Or maybe "Ooooh, what an interesting pot" sarcastically.

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Sir Humphrey: With Trident we could obliterate the whole of Eastern Europe.
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You can't be a successful dictator and design women's underclothing. - Bertram Wooster, The Code of the Woosters

Yup, "ooh what an interesting pot" being sarcastic was implicit, I know the person who it was aimed at...

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See a pin; pick it up; and all that day, you'll have a pin.

The three Cawley lines that I think should be given to another, unnamed professor are:

1. It would be hard to learn much less than my pupils, without undergoing a pre-frontal lobotomy.

2. I'm sure if you scraped away the mud from the bottom, it would probably say "Made in Birmingham."

3. Well, it’s not my field. Anyone else want to have a look?

These lines are either too jokey for Cawley or they don't make any sense when he says them (because he is the archeologist at the table.) I also think it would be better if these lines were all read by the same character, because otherwise the people reading these lines will have virtually no identity.

Unno

What Unno said.

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Sir Humphrey: With Trident we could obliterate the whole of Eastern Europe.
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You can't be a successful dictator and design women's underclothing. - Bertram Wooster, The Code of the Woosters

Lol, true

So who says 'Ohhh, what an interesting pot'? (is it/should it be the same person as the one who says the other 3 lines above), and do you want me to do all three/four lines?

Okay, You say all the three lines, skutterz. You can call the professor whatever You want to call him. Hawking etc.

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Sir Humphrey: With Trident we could obliterate the whole of Eastern Europe.
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You can't be a successful dictator and design women's underclothing. - Bertram Wooster, The Code of the Woosters

Ok so is it agreed that unno be Watkin and skutterz be Hawkin and do those lines? If so could we record so I can finish the dinner scenes?

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See a pin; pick it up; and all that day, you'll have a pin.

I still can't record, because my cheeks are very swollen. Probably, by early next week I can get Wilkin done.

Unno

I would like to do something. I just don't know what I can do.

_________________
The truth ain't like puppies. A bunch of 'em running around, you pick your favorite.

There's nothing funny about a plastic vagina.

The Epic Project. It happened. Way too late.

Audition for Gordon. Or for one of the Porters (very great parts).

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Sir Humphrey: With Trident we could obliterate the whole of Eastern Europe.
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You can't be a successful dictator and design women's underclothing. - Bertram Wooster, The Code of the Woosters

Gordon, a police officer, a geek and the porter's parts are all still uncast (Gordon is not a small part, however, far from it.)

Audition pieces for anybody:

GORDON and CHECKOUT GEEK

Gordon gets out of car.

Gordon (walking towards the kiosk): Bloody self-service petrol stations. I’m Gordon Way, dammit, not the obedient slave of the government.

Geek (Guy een Kiosk…): Sir, You’re next.

Gordon: I’m with that large, silver-grey Mercedes. Full tank. How much is it, stout yeoman, you Lord Byron of the till?

Geek says a price that is quite reasonable in the UK nowadays.

Gordon: There you go, keep the change.

Geek: What, from a fiver, sir?

Gordon: I said keep the change, sonny. Oh and I need a couple of local maps as well.

Geek: That will be 2 pounds, sir.

Gordon: Now you know what to spend the change on.

Geek: I mean *plus* 2 pounds, sir.

(Pause.)

Gordon: There you go, you insolent acne-collection. Keep the change.

Geek: Erm, thank you sir.

Gordon: You seem to be a rather polite young man… Are you interested in computers?

Geek: Yes.

Gordon: So I’ve guessed. I have got to tell you something: parallel processing is going to
be the key to really intuitive productivity software, but also strongly
doubting whether artificial intelligence research per se,
particularly artificial intelligence research based on the ProLog
language, is really going to produce any serious commercially viable
products in the foreseeable future, at least as far as the office desk
top environment is concerned. I suspect this fascinates you then…

GORDON

Gordon: Where was I? Oh yes. Richard and /Anthem/ 2.00. Susan, that thing has got to be
in beta testing in two weeks. He tells me it’s fine. But every time I
see him he’s got a picture of a sofa spinning on his computer screen.
He says it’s an important concept, but all I see is furniture. People
who want their company accounts to sing to them do not want to buy a
revolving sofa. Nor do I think he should be turning the erosion
patterns of the Himalayas into a flute quintet at this time.
And as for what Kate’s up to, Susan, well, I can’t hide the fact
that I get anxious at the salaries and computer time it’s eating up.
Important long-term research and development it might be, but there is
also the possibility, only a possibility, I’m saying, but nevertheless
a possibility which I think we owe it to ourselves fully to evaluate
and explore, which is that it’s a lemon. That’s odd, there’s a noise
coming from the boot, I thought I’d just closed it properly.
Anyway, the main thing’s Richard. And the point is that there’s
only one person who’s really in a position to know if he’s getting the
important work done, or if he’s just dreaming, and that one person is,
I’m afraid, Susan. And that’s you, not the secretary at the office.
So can you, I don’t like to ask you this, I really don’t, can you
really get on his case? Make him see how important it is? Just make
sure he realises that WayForward Technologies is meant to be an
expanding commercial business, not an adventure playground for crunch-
heads. That’s the problem with crunch-heads -- they have one great idea
that actually works and then they expect you to carry on funding them
for years while they sit and calculate the topographies of their
navels. I’m sorry, I’m going to have to stop and close the boot
properly. Won’t be a moment.

PORTERS

P2: Here’s some coffee for you, Bill. Getting a bit colder tonight.

P1: I think it is. You can say what you like about people, they don’t get any less peculiar. Fellow in here just now asking if there was a horse in the college.

P2: Oh, yes. I had a chap in here earlier. Sort of strange foreign priest. Couldn’t understand a word he said at first. But he seemed happy just to stand by the fire and listen to the news on the radio.

P1: Foreigners, eh?

P2: In the end I told him to shoot off. Standing in front of my fire like that. Suddenly he says is that really what he must do? Shoot off? I said, in my best Bogart voice, “You better believe it, buddy.â€

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See a pin; pick it up; and all that day, you'll have a pin.

Ooh, I want to audition for them all. What to do...?

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Well what if there is no tomorrow? There wasn't one today!

I sent off an audition for the geek.

_________________
The truth ain't like puppies. A bunch of 'em running around, you pick your favorite.

There's nothing funny about a plastic vagina.

The Epic Project. It happened. Way too late.

And it sounds good :-) I've mp3ified it and yousendit.comed it to the link below

http://s48.yousendit.com/d.aspx?id=02P2 ... 6VFWWQWY8M

The recording quality though really isn't that great - the voice is very quiet compared to background hiss. It might be worth visiting the dirk gently website for recording advice :-) or in general being closer to the microphone or speaking louder or something

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See a pin; pick it up; and all that day, you'll have a pin.