The song, written by McCartney and John Lennon, may have a ticket to ride and will be flying at the speed of light. But it will take 431 years along a long and winding road to reach its final destination. That's because Polaris is 2.5 quadrillion miles away.
Whoah. We get it. This AP writer is a Beatles fan. There's nothing wrong with that as the world needs more of them. But did we deserve those utterly painful puns? Does (s)he honestly think that happiness is a warm pun?
Christ! It's contagious! This is horrible.
Forget about me, boys and girls. I'm damned already. My writing is hack. Forgive me, momma. Oh God, forgive me.
Writers who resort to that sort of plastic smug prose deserve to be stoned to death with large rocks. Either that or forced to carry stone tablets adaptations of Strunk & White's Elements of Style
for all eternity. Jacob Marley that bastard with a liberal dose of Sisyphus' rock pushing. Let's see how they dig that.
How will a song (i.e., sound) be able to fly at the speed of light?