I’ve been doing some thinking these last couple of months and I think this is the last year for the DAC. At least for me. I seem to not be as interested anymore, hardly ever here and it’s all becoming an obligation. The Duke of Dunstable, 3.2.2011
Well, serves you right, dear DAC, why are you clinging that much on to old virtues?
Why haven´t you opened yourself a little bit to new things, subjects, new writers in the field?
I well know this is a forum about DA and his work, yet, let´s face it, the only two subjects of any significance lately for this forum here and its members were the DAC yelling at Colfer and the DAC yelling at me (and a bit me yelling at Colfer. (Erm, if Colfer has ever yelled at me, which is not a 100% unlikely, he must have done that not in public, for there is no evidence of him yelling at me on the forum… erm, must not ramble…)) Correct me if I´m not right.
Honestly, anyway, you can´t expect you dedicate a forum to an author who has deceased in 2001 (sadly, but still true) and think you can go on like this forever.
After all computers of the Master himself have been stripped, after all lost manuscripts or fragments of them have been found, pieced together (or entirely made up by someone), after all movies have been made, got a caning, pressed on DVD (got a caning for the DVD-version), after all books had been fitted with new entries, for- and afterwards – what then?
After all unauthorised sequels been written and even a guy officially bestowed to write one, after even this is done – and got a caning, what then, then?
I mean, even the BBC gets rid of his h2g2-website!
So, how long do you think this can go with, h2g2 in yet another comic, h2g2 in yet another stage-version, yet another DVD, hey, there´s the Master himself on Vinyl! It was found in the vault of The Douglas Adams Relics in the section not to touched before the year 3000! (But I got it for you anyway!)
At the end of the day, you are facing what anybody faces when there are no challenges and goals anymore and enough energy left – you are facing the long dark tea time of the soul!
What are you gonna do then, to keep this forum alive and running, insult the universe?
Look, what happened when I entered this site.
Now, there I´d been, freshly freaked out about having endured 17 months of the bulldog´s snarl and I got snarled at again!
I mean, have I not done a second translation of most parts of all the five h2g2-volumes?
Have I not done a sequel, (even translated myself into (my poor pidgin)-English)?
Do I not write in a similar style, when ever appropriate? (Not that I always do this, cause I like to vary.)
Have I not written a book about interstellar cab-drivers (which would make hitch-hiking in the galaxy superfluous)?
Am I not writing a seventh volume as soon as I find the time?
Am I not weird? (I mean in good way, in DA-worthy way of weird…)
Look at me, I came to bulldog´s country with my four rabbits, I drove a cab in three countries so far (which is nothing against the fact that I drive a cab at all, which is by itself just the weirdest thing ) I stalked a girl and have written a 500-pages book saying basically why that little bitch, she had it coming, right? (I mean, can you top that one alone :-) ?)
(Okay, it´s certainly not a big deal that DA lived with his mother, after the divorce of his parents when he was still a boy who got married again, and I lived with my father, after the divorce of my parents when I was still a boy, before he got married again - this is just society in the 20th century. Of course we both grew up being a little odd and compensating a lot through reading – common behaviour in that situation and you might also say, this slightly weird and sarcastic humour of mine, the style of writing came by the fact alone that DA was very popular among youths of my age and educational back-ground and that the fact that I am, exactly at the moment when I´m writing this, exactly one month older than DA was at the time he died (he became 49 and two months and I am pretty much exactly 49 and three months) is just another insignificant and totally meaningless coincidence. Sure, quite rightly, so.)
Anyway, what did you do when I addressed this forum with a sixth volume?
You yelled at me, you bickered and you called me a blasphemer (not literally, but it definitely came across as such.)
And now look what happened. The version I had written was still in the making, in the English version, only translated from German by myself within the limits of my poor pidgin-English and I needed desperately some sort of cooperation.
So, the DAC had had the opportunity to take a good deal of influence! To alter this version significantly, almost to the extent of a version of me and the DAC together.
Anybody who felt like it could have had a shot! Together we would have had something against this sad little piece of work, which is now the official version, this children´s book version, at best.
You could have put your weight into it, your „political muscle“ and we could have made the world a (slightly) better place! (Slightly) more worth living in!
But, no, you were clinging on too much to the past, to your ideals of purity and let the chance to alter history slip, to say, if there is the threat of a sequel hanging like a sword of Damocles over us, let it at least not be Colfer´s version of all.
But it is still time to learn from your own mistakes.
You don´t have to name an official successor, you don´t have to call this forum a Jochen Lembke Continuum, by all means, (although you might and like I said before, I´m worshipable, am I not? Supply me with devoted female followers and a fleet of Rolls-Royces (but make damn sure they are filled up with fuel) and you´ll see what happens) but you could open a section for me or for any other authors who might follow in DA´s footsteps, where they could portray their work. Or you could generally pay more attention to those people, instead of just rising the cross at them and sprinkle them with holy water and burn them alive. (I mean, as long as I´m not famous enough you can still yell at me for a start and do the worshipping later.)
No, you don´t have to face the long dark tea time of the soul, dear DAC, or face Facebook, talk to each other at Zuckerberg´s… there are opportunities which could still keep this place alive and all of its members in happy unison!
Jochen Lembke, Feb. 2011
Jochen Lembke, Europe´s cab-driving writer, Germany, England, Switzerland and so on, the cab-world-record that goes on and on, and author of the best H2G2-sixth volume ever written or else money back!
Blog in English language: http://ejochenlembke.wordpress.com/